R.I.P Lil’ Kim.

  • Little known fact about Kim Jong-il: never took a personal day. Not once, not ever.
  • Sometimes Kim Jong-il would send someone a honeybaked ham for no good reason. That was just Kim Jong-il.
  • One thing you never hear about Kim Jong-il is how much he loved tennis. He just never liked to draw attention to himself.
  • Did Kim Jong-il have a dark side? Not that I ever saw. Cranky sometimes, sure, but you still had to love the guy.
  • One time I told Kim Jong-il he was spoiling his grandkids rotten. He just said “And your point is?” Then we both laughed.
  • Even on his worst days Kim Jong-il would ask me how I was doing. We used to give each other funny nicknames too. I’ll miss that.
  • Next time you wear business casual to work, you have one man to thank- Kim Jong-il. Don’t know about you, but I’m gonna miss that old nutjob
  • One time Kim Jong-il gave me Yankee tickets even though they were playing Minnesota, his favorite team. It was just the kind of guy he was.
  • One thing I’ve yet to hear about in the coverage of Kim Jong-il are his handwritten thank you notes. Always funny and on really nice paper.
  • Could Kim Jong-il be a little judgmental sometimes? Sure. But he was always hardest on himself. That’s for certain.
  •  I’ll never forget the time Kim Jong-il sealed me into my hotel room with bricks on our trip to Cancun together. He loved a good prank.
  • I’m glad Kim Jong Il is dead but overall Twitter was funnier when Michael Jackson died.
  • I never saw Kim Jong-il happier than when I took him to see the Blue Man Group. Simply put- he was a lover of life.
  • With Kim Jong Il gone, Jared from Subway moves up to No. 1 on the Worst Person In the World list.
  • Sometimes Kim Jong-il would say to me “Maybe I’ll become a cab driver.” That’s the the thing with him- he coulda done anything.
  • If nothing else, Kim Jong-il will be remembered for occasionally giving people a stern talking to. Oh, and also the glasses.
  • Did Kim Jong-il fly off the handle and make some crazy decisions once in a while? Sure. But guess what- we all do. I can’t stay mad at him.
  • Was Kim Jong-il perfect? No. But guess what- he would have been the first one to admit it. He hated his hair for example.
  • Did Kim Jong-il imprison a lot of people? Sure. But he also gave great birthday presents and loved a good joke. No one talks about that.
  • Sometimes I think there was just no one around Kim Jong-ill who was willing to say “Hey, Kim Jong-il- you stop that right now! I mean it!”
  • I guess I saw this coming a mile away, but I amazed at how everyone chooses to focus on Kim Jong-il’s negative qualities now that he’s dead.
  • If you ask me, the biggest shame about Kim Jong-il is that he tended to surround himself with people who told him what he wanted to hear.
  • Kim Jong II is dead & things aren’t looking so hot for his official lookalikes either.
  • MSNBC News has reported that North Korean Supreme leader Kim Jong II has passed away and will be replaced by A La Carte leader Kim Jong Jr.
  • Kim Jong Squirrel still rules Squirrel North Korea with an iron paw.
  • It pains me to know that Kim Jong-il’s sunglasses collection has without question been completely raided by now.
  • In his obituary, he’ll go by his full name, Kim Jong-William.
  • Kim Jong II is dead & things aren’t looking so hot for his official lookalikes either.
  • Kim Jong-Il, lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish, has reportedly died. The rock n’ roll community may never be the same.
  • Kim Jong II dead, power now passes to his son Fredo.
  • I tell you that Kim Jong-Un has tiny shoes to fill.
  • Once, it was pouring rain and Kim Jong-il dragged the grill out and put ribs on anyway. He never let anything get in the way of a good time.
  • Whenever the check came at dinner Kim Jong-il would grab it before I could. “You got it last time,” he’d say even though I didn’t. Miss him.
  • Once I asked Kim Jong-il why he got into the supreme leader game. He said “You kidding me? For the outfits!” Then we both laughed.
  • When I first met Kim Jong-Il I asked “What shall I call you?” He said “Call me generalissimo if you please-imo!” Then we both laughed.
  • Once I told Kim Jong-il he worked to hard and he said “If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life.” He was always positive.
  • I’ll never forget the time we watching a documentary on human rights and Kim Jong-il pretended to start snoring really loud. Hysterical.
  • On his most recent birthday, I asked Kim Jong-il if he was 69 or 70. He said “70…but my showbiz age is 69!” He always made us laugh.
  • I once asked Kim Jong-il how he became supreme leader. He shrugged and said “Eh, you know- family business.” Then we both just laughed.
  • I once remarked to Kim Jong-il how summer was here. He grabbed some scissors, cut the legs off his pantsuit, and said “No- NOW it’s summer.”
  • Kim Jong-il always said he wasn’t a “beach guy” but whenever we went he was the first guy in the water. He was a man of contradictions.
  • If it weren’t for the choreography, Kim Jong-il wouldn’t have bothered building the N.K. military at all. He loved a spectacle, loved fun.
  • Still laughing about the time Kim Jong-il decided to invest in an ill-fated chain of fondue restaurants. There was no talking him out of it.
  • It was hard to watch Kim Jong-il deal with the fame he didn’t want. Simple things like going to the laundromat suddenly became a hassle.
  • In his most private moments, Kim Jong-il would tell me how much he wanted a unified Korea if for another reason than to save on postage.
  • Kim Jong-il loved all kinds of music, especially light jazz. He would have had it piped in everywhere if he could have. He just loved it.
  • I never saw Kim Jong-il madder than when he found out Col. Sanders wasn’t in the military. Took it very personally. Never touched KFC again.
  • Kim Jong-il loved magic. His favorite trick was the one where you pulled a coin from someone’s ear. He did it at every part without fail.
  • One night we were at downtown Cipriani and some drunk lady mistook Kim Jong-il for Mao. He was very polite about it. That was how KJ was.
  • The only time Kim Jong-il annoyed me is when he got on that wheat grass kick. Had it at every meal. Wouldn’t shut up about it. Miss him.
  • He’d kill me for telling you this, but Kim Jong-il hated to be tickled. He thought it was a sign of weakness. Drove him absolutely nuts.
  • So much media coverage of Kim Jong-il’s death and not a single mention of what a wonderful father, friend, and lover he was. Just confusing.
  • Kim Jong-il loved to tinker. Cars, radios, handguns- it didn’t matter. He was always learning, always growing, always KJ.
  • If you went to Kim Jong-il’s house, you were eating. I used to joke with him that he was an old Italian lady in a past life. He loved it.
  • Compliment Kim Jong-il’s sunglasses, he’d take them off and give them to you. Ditto with the pantsuit. The man was selfless to a fault.
  • Kim Jong-il would have dropped the supreme leader gig in a heartbeat to realize his dream of being a drive-time FM DJ. He was obsessed.
  • Whenever someone said anything crazy in a meeting or at dinner, Kim Jong-il would make a gesture to suggest they were drunk. Always funny.
  • One time I sold my pocketwatch to buy Kim Jong-il a nice comb. It turned out he’d sold his hair to buy me a chain for my watch. It was nuts.
  • One time I came home to find Kim Jong-il had filled my apartment with a dozen live chickens “just because.” He was a man without limits.
  • I’ll never forget the time Kim Jong-il got the entire N. Korean army to sing that “Buttercup” song to me on my birthday. A thoughtful guy.
  • One day Kim Jong-il said to me “It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.” Best advice I ever got. He lived it too.
  • The only thing Kim Jong-il ever “dictated” to me was that I have fun and not take like too seriously. In the end, that was his real message.
  • I’ll never forget the time Kim Jong-il and I watched the N. Korean troops marching and he dumped a bag of marbles on the ground. Awesome.
  • Kim Jong-il: A more loveable nutjob I’ll never know, a better friend I’ll never have. Goodnight, sweet pantsuited prince. Je t’aime!

<<<<<< Some crazy ass yet well thought out thoughts.

But the era we live in though? Can’t help but make wise cracks about death. That’s what you get for being a bully.

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